Why don’t I feel wide awake?

Why do I feel like everything is frozen day and night are just the same every single day.
Where could I find a drug to make time go faster I need to know, I need to speed things up. I just can’t move any more I am looking for hope for a better day, a day when I can remember way I am here in the first place. Or maybe, maybe is not that I don’t like were I am but it’s that I don’t know were I am going.
Sometimes It feels like the world has stop spinning and that I am stuck in the middle of things, that the only reasonable thing to do is wait. But I don t want to wait patience is not my biggest virtue I need to know it will be over soon I need to know that I will wake form this awful dream and that my reality if I even have one, will be better.
I don’t want to freak you out but time has stop for me and I don’t like it I need change I need it soon. Maybe I will find it down under and soon I will feel once again very wide awake.